Why leaving a long-term job is like ending a romantic relationship?
I used to work for 11 years in Graña y Montero (GyM). GyM is one of the largest Engineering and Construction companies in Latam. Based in Peru, with 80+ years of existence, GyM was the “Best Place to work for civil engineers.” Known for the type of projects it has delivered, the focus in its people (developing), the high culture of continuous improvement. It also was known for being the best among the construction company in terms of corruption, honesty, and always fulfilled his promises (in terms of budget and costs).
I was so happy on my first day at GyM (in 2008). It was like a dream come true. I thought that It was at the place I had to be. Since that day, I fell in love with the company and gave everything I had.
I loved every experience I had, everything I learned, every person I met, every good or bad boss I had and what I could learn (or un-learn) from him. I wouldn’t be the same person If I haven’t had the chance to be in GyM. And because I decided to love the company with all my heart, I got great results there: was recognized as one of the high potential people, I got responsibility quickly and earn respect from the top managers and directors.
I like to think the relationship you have with the company you work for (either yours or someones) is like a romantic relationship. To give everything you have, to put all the passion you can in your work, you must be “in love” of the company you work for.
When there is love in your relationship, the approach of dealing with your partner (in this case your company) change from “something you have to because it is allowing you to earn money”, to “enjoy what you are doing and want to spend as much time possible as you can”, and “want to grow with you and get better together”. And like in real relationships, not all the moments are perfect, and not always you feel like everything is great.
Sometimes the relationship has problems, sometimes things changed from either side, sometimes there is a misunderstanding, but that is no reason to run away. Quite different, to find out ways to improve the relationship, you must discuss, talk and put on the table things the way they are, explain how are you are feeling, trying to find out the root cause of the problems, and together try to solve it to keep going and continue to nurture the connection. But when things can’t get resolved, you must accept the reality, deal with it, and move ahead, just like a real relationship.
In 2017, the company got in crisis due to a corruption scandal, and the CEO and the Board resigned, putting in control of the company a renewed external board and new CEO. From that moment, the company changed. Don’t get me wrong, it needed to change due to the crisis, there were a lot of things that needed to be corrected to clean the mess. Still, the culture that brought the company for more than 80 years, the one that put people first, among other things, in my opinion, didn’t need to change. From that moment, I started to feel weird at the company. I didn’t like the new vision, the way the people were started to be treated, the prioritization of the things to attend at the crisis, nor the new culture that was establishing… I began to lose the love I felt. I tried to discuss and talk about the situation, try to change my approach to support the transition, but I wasn’t heard. Soon a lot of company talents started to quit, and the directors were doing nothing to stop it.
By the time things began to change at GyM, I was changing as well. Let me explain a little bit here: when I joined the company in 2008, my primary aspiration was to be Construction Project Manager. This is the highest position on-site, responsible for the execution and operations. When you are a college student, this is the kind of place you aspired to get some time. But that position is full demanding in terms of quality life.
If you are a Construction Manager, you will be working in regions further from home. This represents that for the majority of the month, you will be away from your family. (Typically, 21 days at job-site and 7 days at home). When you are young and newly graduated from college, you want to conquer the world, and you move and work wherever the opportunity is. But, as you get old, you got married/in a relationship, became father, you start to feel that you don’t want to be that much time away. And that was precisely the way I was feeling when GyM started to change and had the crisis. I loved my career. I wanted to keep working in construction, I wanted to help improve the way we build things, but I didn’t want to make it having to spend three weeks away from home every month.
Also I was changing because I started to see things in my career from a different perspective.
I found out that our industry was the least productive compare to manufacturing, services, and even agriculture, and this was in part for the lack of innovation and technology application. That was an eye-opener for me. This industry problem became my primary mission at that time: work with everything I have to improve and make it a better one.
Getting back to crisis time, I wanted to keep working and dedicate all my effort to help the company to make it a better one, a more technological, more agile, more client, and people-focused. I wanted to keep attached to the industry, not from the construction site as a Project Manager but a support role that help build better. I tried to launch Innovation labs, research areas to look for things that could make GyM a better company (we even won an Innovation Award). I wanted to turn GyM into a technology company that builds (different from being a Construction Company that is technological).
Expectations of what I wanted to do at that time were contrarious from what the new Board and CEO wanted. They didn’t think it was necessary to invest in tech or a new way of working. I tried to explain that if we don’t modernize the company, if we don’t change, we are going to be behind in the industry, and eventually, we could disappear. The 4th industrial revolution was here, and construction was going to be transformed and disrupted, and we have to take advantage of that and start to adapt and change. They didn’t listen. They were too busy solving “urgent” problems, or they didn’t want to hear me. So, I decided to move and look for other options that were aligned with my new way of seeing the industry.
Take the decision to leave was one of the toughest things I have ever done.
I really fell in love with this company and since day one, I saw myself working there until very old. So at the moment I realized that none of what I thought, said, or did was going to change it, nor the things I wanted to keep doing was in the companies priorities; I knew it was time to move. For three weeks, while I processed the decision, I felt like shit. I felt I was not loyal to the company, and I was abandoning him when he needed most of the help. But in the end, I realized that in spite of feeling bad I wasn’t happy there and I have to move.
Sad but true: I wasn’t in love anymore
Today I work at a Chilean startup that is trying to transform the construction industry using technology. I couldn’t be happier right now. It is not the perfect job (I think there is no such thing as that), and I fell in love with myself working there (as opposite of falling in love with a company).
